


If I lose myself I Lose it all

by YuppieRovah



Category: Dracula (TV 2020)
Genre: #hungry Agatha lol, :(((, Agatha and dracula bickering, Agatha crying and being sad, Agatha getting mad is a MOOD, Being a vampire is not always easy, Chess Game, Especially when you're a young one, F/M, Finally Zoe appears !, Floating in the sea, Inspired by Music, OUFFF, They playin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22400530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuppieRovah/pseuds/YuppieRovah
Summary: She let go. She then felt a soft hand on her back. "Is this god bringing me home?" Agatha wondered. And then another hand, now both holding her waist. She felt herself being moved. Being weightless, gliding in the deep sea.
Relationships: Dracula & Agatha Van Helsing, Dracula/Agatha Van Helsing
Comments: 78
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

The water filling her lungs brought her back to an atrocious conciousness. She kept on convulsing and taking in more and more water as her body struggled to get in some air. "Am I dying again?" She thought yet no answers above the ringing in her ears and the horrible burning in her lungs.

She had heard drowning was the worst way to go. She hoped that maybe that it would kill her for good and not bring her back as a vampire. She was done with this. She even hoped she might join god. Her eyes finally closing, she was feeling herself go her body done with convulsing and struggling.

She let go. She then felt a soft hand on her back. "Is this god bringing me home?" Agatha wondered. And then another hand, now both holding her waist. She felt herself being moved. Being weightless, gliding in the deep sea. "How fun" she thought, she never had the opportunity to learn to swim.  
Naturally being a nun and especially a women didn't help. 

Then it stopped. She was just there in the middle of the darkest sea. She tried opening her eyes but it seemed that the obscurity behind the lids matched the view of underwater. She heard a groan and creaking. "Oh well! must be an angel trying to open the gates of heaven".

she chuckled to herself

Again she heard muffled pants, wood squeaking and being separated.  
Suddenly her body was pushed with great force. The hands were now on her shoulders. "Someone is in front of me" she panicked . "I'm not alone" she tried on looking but it was way too dark. 

Her content feeling was gone in seconds. She felt it drain. She knew she was being pushed into something, it hit her back. It was hard, she knew it was wood. 

The hand now caressed her hair behind her ears. Felt someone bring her hands in front of her stomach. And she unconsciously put her hands in prayer. "Now Agatha...". She knew that voice! It was ringing in her brain, in her soul. "Don't worry, sleep" the deep voice said. "No, no, no , no !!!" She muttered then reality hit her. She began to scream. "Calm down now, I tied you too me, we will never drift apart." "You have to sleep" and without want she felt herself drift into unconscious, without want she felt at peace. A forced one. One she hoped she would get used to. She heard wood creaking again. And believed this was the box being closed. Like her conciousness. Like her body was drifting ,so her mind. 

He tied a rope to her box and tied it with his. "That will do for us" "and finally a little nap for me" he thought as he was getting in his box.

Finally settled in and door closed.  
Dracula let himself drift to the new world.


	2. Chapter 2

A little bustling and the smell of something metallic woke her up. 

She was out now, “finally! Being all cramped up in there. God!” she swore.   
The sea had become her natural habitat for so many years, the box floating, staying put in the same place for more than a century.   
She swam around their boxes remembering Dracula placing her inside. And then Dreams, after dreams, after dreams.  
Subsequent to her awakening she felt like she had lived so many lives. “blood is lives” she remembered. She lived a war with the ottoman empire, dined with seemingly important people, walked so many sceneries in the country, so familiar to the Budapest countryside it warmed her heart. Saw children growing up. Seasons passing by. Dracula getting older. she doesn't really remember his old face since he avoided mirrors as much as possible. But she felt his pain and the pain he inflicted to others too.  
Looking to the left then her right, nothing.

She than glared up and saw him swimming away, he was about 300 feet away. That’s when her compassion for him was replaced with rage. “how dare he create me and leave me here?” she thought of him as an ungrateful child. Had a toy for too long, got bored and left it to rot. she then decided to swim towards him, she was surprised at how fast she went, water whooshing past her. She continued on lunging towards him. He was pretty fast too. She could see he was approaching the coast. “that bastard!” she esteemed.  
Dracula could hear her thoughts and laughed to himself, normally she could her him too but she was probably to mad to concentrate properly.

He was finally out of the water, nature did calculate everything well since the sun was just setting in the sky, leaving a cold glow. After all it was winter.  
Dracula was walking staidly on the beach, towards the hills. That’s when a smirk displayed on his face. “Foolish man!” Agatha yelled at him. she looked like goddess, her blue robe clinging to her figure, water dripping from her hair. Faery eyes blasting on him, long legs carrying her towards him. “Ah well! hello dear Sister Agatha. How are you feeling?” he snickered, contemplating her from head to toe “don’t belittle me Dracula!” she went into a frenzy “You were going to leave me? For how long exactly? for eternity? So all of this was for nothing?” she heaved even though breathing was unnecessary to her now. 

“Agatha, Agatha, Agatha” he tittered “So many questions! I can see you are still full of challenge” he walked towards her and she just continued on watching him menacingly “No I was not leaving you there. I was certain you were following me actually.” his hand rising in protest.   
“Oh really? Hum, I shouldn’t be surprised you think of yourself as a God!" Her accent fully apparent. She was walking towards him too. until she was in front of him. Her finger jabbing onto his torso "it is innate for you to think masses would follow you” she spat.  
" Now Agatha you're an intell.." he was cut by the blaring sound and blinding light of a flying mechanism.  
They both looked up, alarmed and startled by this soaring thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So guys!!!! tell me what you think about this chapter :) I loveddddd reading your comments. It's really fulfilling!  
> Anywho I was really happy while writing this chapter!   
> I hope you like it too and I'm if anybody wants, I'm looking for a beta reader ;)

Dracula was still looking up while Agatha searched his face. His eyes were still seeking for an explanation. Automatically Dracula pulled her by the waist, feeling slightly unsafe. “Do you know what this is?” Agatha whispered anxiously, her eyes shifting between the helicopter and his face. “I might have an idea…” he said hesitantly “you know humans are getting more and more into techn….” Agatha’s face started contorting, her nose scrunching “I smell people coming?” she cut him off. 

Dracula now focusing on her. Both ignoring the helicopter instantly.  
Agatha asked “is this possible?” she backed away from his touch and started wandering away. Feeling starved all of a sudden.  
“Ah yes, I think we have been sleeping for a while Agatha” he explained simply however frowning when he started hearing her growl.  
“Well the good news is, you are hungry! which means you’re healthy.” He then grinned whilst clapping his hands together, placing his index fingers under his teeth.

She turned her head threateningly towards him, showing off her fangs, her eyes pure red. “and the bad news is that you are VERY hungry and we are with company” he concluded.

“Agatha please come here” his arms stretching towards her and it didn’t look like she was going to clearly more interested in finding subsistence. “Now take my hand okay?” he inspected her and her reaction. It wasn't very favourable considering the situation.

"I know you and you need control. it’s hard. But listen to me” he sympathized but rapidly flinched again being cut off by her raucous voice “why? But why?” she snarled. “Because I know you and you are being controlled by your hunger! You’ll regret eating people” he cringed at the last part. “you’ll make this a carnage which will traumatize you when you will be finally satisfied” he tried walking slowly towards her “and then you’ll be really mad at me” she rolled her eyes “and particularly at yourself!” he continued “And you could hurt yourself” he pleaded “in short, Agatha this is not a good idea!” she realised he was quite right for once “then! Then what do you recommend?” she inquired grievously, her spirit back on track, concentrating on her values and not her hunger even though it was really arduous.

"You’re right, I don’t want to kill anyone” her face hanging at the only realisation, clearly conflicted.  
"You created me, and I didn’t want this!” she spat “So! It is your job now too” she looked at him in the eyes, making sure he was looking “You have to kill me” she pointed her accusing finger towards him again. “Agatha” he whined “you can’t ask me to do this” he beseeched.  
“Then. What. Do. You. Propose. Count. Dracula.?” Each of her words sharp. 

All at once the roaring of the Harker’s foundation jeeps came in. Cutting them once again in their bickering.


	4. Blinding lights

Dracula ran swiftly to Agatha while running his hand through his hair, evidently puzzled but made sure she was all right and made his way to stand in front of her, firstly to protect her but mostly to protect any possible preys.  
A figure was approaching the pair and stopped a few feet away “Welcome to England Count Dracula. And? ….” Zoe clearly confused not remembering anyone telling her a second box was found but then she looked at Agatha closely. Now bewildered thinking her great great aunt was long dead, killed by Dracula like the rest of the ship crew. 

Agatha still blinded by the lights couldn’t discern Doctor Zoe’s face, although she stepped a few strides, placing her hand on Dracula’s shoulder keeping him back, she blinked rapidly Finally perceiving her.  
“You are....” her mouth dry all of a sudden “me...?” she looked at Zoe and back at Dracula.  
He too finally saw the doctor as he was too blinded by the lights and eventually inspected the doctors face. “Are you me?” Agatha asked while walking in direction of Zoe who looked quite amazed by the fact that she was meeting her heroine. Younger she longed to meet this incredible brave woman who fought the greatest vampire. She closed her eyes, realisation hit her, sister Agatha was one of them now. Life had that ability to turn things around like that.

She opened her eyes in time to see Agatha now in front of her as she raised her hand to cup her face and turned to Dracula asking him “what kind of witchcraft is this now?” Agatha mumbled, Zoe snorted. This made Agatha turn back to look at her mirror self. Her hand dropping when she perceived the mercenary present.

Finally, Zoe spoke “I believe you are my great great aunt, Sister Agatha, on my father’s side” she said waiting for a reaction. Agatha was clearly gobsmacked and turned away “Jesus Christ” she choked. Hands on her waist as she walked away facing the sea while Dracula stepped towards Zoe.

the sand crunching under his feet made him realise how grateful he was for walking this earth again. He looked at her badge and snapped it off with his sharp nail. Reading it aloud “Doctor Zoe Van Helsing. Zoe I like that name” he tested the name on his tongue “life in Greek” he said cryptically whilst wiggling his eyebrows “Never thought I would have the honour to know two Van Helsing’s” he bowed his head theatrically.  
Zoe nodded at his melodramatics. “Delighted to meet you Doctor” he particularly concentrated on pronouncing the doc haughtily. “Enchanted Count. I’m doctor Zoe from the foundation” she acknowledged. He advanced his right arm to shake her hand which she did but he could sense her mercenary was tense obviously not happy their boss was this close to the bloodsucker.

At the meantime Agatha was still facing the sea taking in big gulps of air trying to digest this new information.

“Well enough with the presentations! I think you know very well who I am” starting to feel concerned for Agatha yet he winked, placing his hands in his pockets. “Let me get back to my wife” he pointed to Agatha for unnecessary clarification.  
Counting on the little walk to her to think of a way to escape these people. Clearly their intentions harmful because naturally “A women and a doctor!” he thought incredulously, what year was this? 

“Wait count Dracula are you not hungry?” Zoe shouted. That though! It interested him. Maybe he and Agatha could profit of this “so called foundation” to feed for a while and easily breakout. “oh how cleaver I still am” he laughed to himself. “We could provide you with fresh blood every day in exchange; tests every now and then” Zoe resolved.

He feigned reasoning, stroking his chin “okay I think we're getting a good deal out of this, dear doctor” he concluded shaking her hand once again. “Now if you’ll let me” pointing to Ag. “Sure sure go ahead!” Zoe said, both thinking they had to upper hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little (very small) update ! Kudos & comments gives me lives ;) ( get it ?) 
> 
> ❤

Dracula was sprinting towards her “okay now Agatha dear” he called out “We’re going to follow these people. Okay?”

She was confused. Was he concerned for her? His supposed “wife” like he liked to suggest to random strangers or was he feigning because they were in the presence of this supposed authority? “the foundation” she rolled her eyes. 

As he was approaching she realized he was lacking a solution for her predicament “Oh so you don’t really have any offer for me right?” Pause… she looked at the other humans present on the beach “My niece does have one, doesn’t she? So go ahead Dracula tell me what she has? What’s your quick fix to this endless burden?” she argued.

He was scratching his forehead whilst listening to her. he wasn’t used to being schooled but gathered that; “if this was the price to pay for a possible progenitor” he thought, letting his shoulder rise.  
He didn’t even have the time to answer. She cut him off again as she understood what he was thinking, she also got closer to him. So close he could feel the slight inexistent breath coming out of her mouth as she whispered “you disgust me Dracula and I pity you. Always thinking of a way to reproduce.” She proceeded to look at him from head to toe “You’re just an animal! A dog aren’t you?” she articulated.

This… This reminded her of the first day they met at the convent. How he licked the bloodied knife like a stray dog she had called him. He was and always going to be the same and that conclusion disappointed her to the highest point.

Taken aback, Dracula backed away from her harsh words and thoughts. Though he found she was right.  
“Their offer is blood ag” he deadpanned “And supposedly without killing anyone. They get it from “willing People” he air quoted with his fingers “working for them. I thought that would please you. For the time remaining, if you want. I’ll leave you be” he turned around walking towards the jeeps. 

As Agatha followed him, she knew she would probably have to deal with him for the rest of their lives. There wouldn’t be hiding from each other on this planet, as they were amalgamated, there were fragments of each other’s in their blood, in both of their veins.  
She only wished that if eventually, they would have to procreate, he would at least change and so she realized then that; A woman can’t change a man because she loved him but A man changed himself because he loved her. 

So she thought and hoped that maybe this monster had a little rest of humanity left in him to love someone…


	6. Yesterday's Wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a trigger warning for Panic attacks!!!
> 
> So inspired by Yesterday's wake by Son Lux

As she was walking & following him everything started buzzing, her vision was blurry and her thoughts were getting confused. She stopped and looked around. It was still dark outside. The sky a beautiful cerulean map of shiny stars. Falling down. All falling down or was her mind playing tricks? A big lump made itself known in her throat. Suddenly she felt like a fish out of the sea… she looked back “maybe, if i just go back to the sea..."she gulped. "Maybe this will all have been just a deplorable dream” she hoped, ogling the sky “oh god… please” she sobbed.  
She turned and toddled towards the shore to flee the future of her world. It was a bloody moon, a dirty earth. Her whispered voice now piercing through. “I’m not ready for this day. Oh god… Please” Her unneeded breath was ragged. Escalating to a panic. She started running and was now resembling a baby dear falling to her feet in her precipitation. Scrambling to her feet and crying. “Please! Please! Please! Lord” she was weeping. Hoping the sea would engulf her whole. Take her to nothingness or anywhere but not here where she would face this dire so-called life she wanted nothing to do with.

Dracula sensed something was not right as he turned around just in time to see her stumbling in the sand. Hearing her cry. Clutching to her aching side. For a second he stayed there in shock. Seeing her struggle to get back up and rushing to the expanse of black ink that was the ocean. She was getting dangerously close and wailing “please! Take me back.” Her inhalation screeching so hard it was finally heard by Zoe and her mercenaries who caught up. 

Dracula came back to his senses and sprinted to her as she was in a fully-fledged panic attack, crying and screaming "Back! Take me back"" as she was running.  
“NO! Agatha stop “he yelled. Almost reaching her goal but she was too fragile. Her body was aching blood, not strong enough to follow her legs. Her knees then robbed under her again. "No, no, no" she muttered as she crawled. Her finger tips touching the small white waves. 

Zoe stopped walking and ordered her team to stay there as she watched Dracula stumble to the ground, grabbing Agatha. 

“Look at me Agatha” he tried to get her to sit back up “please, ok? I am just going to move you. so you’re more comfortable; ok? just look at me” he soothed. He saw her pupils were blown wide and searching for something.  
She couldn’t even hear him, her sobbing was so loud, all ragged breathing. But she tried to focus. To focus on him but all was still blurry and it made her cry even more, really not helping her situation “I don’t want this Count. I don’t, I don’t, I don’t” she shook her head like a child.  
Dracula easily placed her against his sitting body. Brushing her hair back placing them behind her ears. And hugged her back. He whispered to her “ “Agatha, Agatha…? Listen you don’t need to breath. Just stop for 5 seconds with me” he inquired. “ready?”  
She shook her head again as she felt his breathing exhaling “one, two, three” he whispered and it stopped."one, two, three we stop breathing together ok?" Repeating the exercise until she too completely stopped breathing. “good girl” he appeased as he started massaging her neck and the muscles in her back.

It was scary and unnatural for her. She felt like a old rag doll. Still. Eyes blown and bland looking into space. That's when all went slowly to black which surprised her and made her "Oh". Slowly she leaned to the right. Her view of the sea perpendicular. Her eyes closing.

Dracula thought she was getting comfortable and was about to tease her and explain she was simply really really hungry which made her brain haywire and more sensitive. But he rapidly realized she was unresponsive. That's when he started panicking too. He turned her face towards his and opened her eyelids. Nothing. No reaction. 

"Shit!" He exclaimed. "Doctor we need to get to your whatever place you call?!" He hollered " the foundation!" They were now walking to him and about 10 feet away.  
He placed his right arm under Agatha's knees and his left holding her back as he brought her and himself up.  
"My Bride Needs Blood Right Now!" He declared! Looking around at the unresponsive crowd . And when no one moved he growled "Now!!!!!"


	7. Howling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'M SHOOK haha this is the longest chapter I've ever written. A whooping 1200+ words lol. I know, I know not that much compared to others. But I'm happy haha with myself.  
> Comments and kudos are loved 🥰

His head was getting heavier and heavier and his heart tighter. He woke with a start almost planting his face on the table. He was truly exhausted, even after the longest nap ever and couldn’t imagine how Agatha might feel. Drained, tired and hungry. He was waiting on Agatha and the “scientists/doctors”. Apparently he was not to enter or accompany the patient in her room which highly irritated him but he decided not follow his antics for once. He doesn’t know why but he trusted Zoe. Maybe because she was a Van Helsing or because she really looked like Agatha.

He always trusted her mind, her intelligence and he estimated Zoe was too, similar to her aunt, he hoped.  
They had an intern “Mister Seward” come and tell him they were feeding her “clean blood” and that she had taken a bath. And now he hadn’t seen her for more than 24 hours. Tapping his long nails on the table, he was remembering these last hours. The ride in the jeep was way better than in a carriage he admits but he was too preoccupied by Ag, petting her hair and mumbling a Romanian cantillate eased his concern. Finally arriving at the foundation, really it was a short drive. Zoe asked him if he would be kind enough to be transported from the car to the foundation in a coffin! he scoffed and shook his head thinking really “What wouldn’t he do for Agatha?” So of course he did just that.

As he was deposed in the glass cage. They continued walking with her coffin. what a truly disturbing image it had been seeing her being moved away from his sight and out of his control. Not the one placed on her but he was out of control. What would these strangers do or not do to her?

He was so mad with himself, letting people be in charge of his companion.  
His thoughts were interrupted by the roof being open letting the sun in, a passage for doctor Zoe who was entering.  
“she’s sleeping” she said nonchalantly. 

Zoe was actually surprised by Dracula’s and Agatha’s relationship.  
They clearly cared for each other and fought like an old couple. She had always heard her dad say how Dracula was a horrid creature, incapable of humanity, love or feelings in general but in this short time she had spent with him, she could at least tell; he cared. And that, that was at least something.  
“Is she fine? Has she taken blood willingly?” Dracula stressed pacing around in the shadow. “well” she deposed her notes on the table “she did take the blood willingly; it was placed in an opaque bottle. But after drinking it. Well…” she scratched her forehead, biting her front lip clearly remembering what ever happened back there. “she was actually doing good, asking questions about this century, what men and women did on the daily, you know? She was really happy to learn women could work like me.

Then it looked like she was about to take her bottle to have another sip. But she had a look at it, a closer look” Zoe’s eyes widened and Dracula had a feeling he knew what happened. Agatha had an analytical eye. “Yes so, she realized she had drunk blood. That’s when everything went chaotic.” She was being so slow pronouncing every word. He couldn’t take it “So! So ??? what happened?” his arms flailing about.  
“She picked up the bottle and looked in it. That’s what triggered her I think. Her hand started trembling and eventually her whole body and she commenced on gagging clearly not accepting the fact that she had drunk blood. She literally broke down “that we stopped feeding her, asking we let her die. Not wanting to become a beast.”

Zoe now focused back on the vampire, she described the whole story meanwhile Dracula had sat down. She continued “naturally my colleagues and I couldn’t let her like this so we sedated her”. He looked devastated. Her words, Agatha’s word wounded him. “Not wanting to become a beast like him”. He knew what he was, for sure. But it hit differently when it came out of the mouth of someone you esteemed, cherished.

“You’ve got to let me perish! I don’t want to be like this. A beast!” she said rage in her throat. Her vision was becoming dizzy again. Everything felt like it was leaning sideways “Agatha. Agatha! Listen to me. Okay? We are letting you go” Zoe stated to her aunt. “What, what? why?” Agatha was frenzied, puzzled. Another colleague interjected “We think it’s best for you to have a breath of fresh air, okay? And since only Dracula here is needed. You are free. We have no rights to keep you here” the doctor explained looking into her eyes. “So you think it’s best to let me roam this earth. I’m a monster too!” she implored. “We are sorry Sister Van Helsing but you have been here for more than the mandatory 16 hours, which is our maximum. Legally you have to leave.”

The glass doors closed behind her. She could only walk and find a way into town. The blood she drank gave her pretty much every information she needed about this century. Luckily the person knew the area because her feet lead her exactly where she wanted. In front of the local church. Looking at the night sky, the fullmoon, she sighed. Was this really time for a confession?

No. She wasn’t a nun anymore. That life was behind her now. Like it or not.  
She continued on wandering about. Agatha could hear people chanting and talking from afar. The youth. She smiled and went to go have a peak at the contemporary. As she neared the pub, her tall shadow cast on the wet pavement. She paused. Looked at the couples talking, others making out. A group of Uni friends cheering, clinking their beers. The loud music. She smiled and wished that she too could maybe one day be like them. Be normal and go unnoticed. 

Solemn she continued roaming about. She knew it was crispy out but she was now insensible, that really, was the only good point of it all. She had always been chilly, especially inside the tall walled convent in Budapest. 

She was approaching an alleyway and… “bollocks!” she heard, surprised at such crude vocabulary. She peeked and that’s when she smelled the freshly poured blood, rippling down the poor man’s hand. He had cut it with a broken beer bottle trying to juggle with his keys and trying to get in his little apartment.  
Her eyes turned red, her mouth snarled and her fangs were fully out. It was like a switch had been flicked. The man didn’t even have time to know what was going on. He was pulled back, his belongings clinking to the floor and a slight whelp was heard from him. That’s it. He was gone. The toxic components in her bite numbed him and took him to dream-land.

The alley was dimly lit and smelled of essences. Mid–feed, she looked up at the sky, blood gushing down her mouth unto her neck. She swiped and smeared the blood from her mouth with the back of her hand.

The switch had been flicked again. She backed away, from her crime scene. Hers. She had done it all. The man sprawled dead right in front of his front door was her doing. A scream bubbled out of her mouth. she stumbled down on the floor. Eyes wide and panicky. She looked at her bloodied hands and looked up the sky, addressing God “why? Why?” as she wailed, her head falling in between her knees. Thinking she had just become like dracula, killing and feeding. She thought of her sisters all murdered and forever gone.

Then she heard a door open, a curious neighbour finally coming out of there house to observe what was going on?  
A hand was posed on her shoulder, shaking her “Agatha dear?".... How did they know her name? Not wanting to cause more harm she pressed her hands on her ears. “Stop, stop, stop. Go away!” she groaned.

“Agatha, please wake up its Dracula” she turned to look up at him and that’s when her parallel world finally returned to normal.

Blinking several times getting used to the brighter lights of the foundation contrasting with the city night she just left behind. 

Instinctively she reached for him and so did he. “I’m sorry Ag, I’m sorry” Dracula tucked her in his neck. “No need to worry anymore it was just a bad dream” he reassured as she sobbed in his collar. “Shh-Shh. No one is hurt” he caressed her knit brows. “We are here and safe. Everyone is safe. No one had died, ok?” he consoled while she nodded.

A man reassuring a newly weakened soul. That’s what Zoe saw behind the glass box. Dracula hugging her great-great aunt and hoping to stick back together all her broken pieces. Hoping the fierce women, he once knew would come back soon to him…


	8. There are worse Games to play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos & comments are loved 🥰

« Ok…let’s do something we’re used to » Dracula looked over to Agatha. She was sitting on the sofa the foundation installed in the corner of the glass box, At least it was more comfortable than those damn chairs. 

It had been a couple of days since “the accident” and she had been mostly silent.  
“What are we used to count?” she turned her head towards him, her face expressionless. That upset him, he would prefer her looking at him with disdain, arrogance or pride but not an inexpressive look and empty eyes.

He tried though a little smile “Chess, of course!” he grinned. He hoped that installing a routine, something they were used to would bring them a sense of comfort.  
“Sure let’s play” Agatha murmured “Yes, ok” Dracula jumped from his chair, pulling it out for her “here, sit here it’s warmer” he attempted to joke, while she looked at him weirdly. “Tadaaa!” He drew a little box from his back “I know this set is not as nice as mine but it’ll do! Right?” he sat down. “right”.  
“I’ll be black as usual and you white, let’s not change our good habits” he looked at her and wiggled his eyebrows as she hummed. This would not do. “So… what have you been reading Agatha?” he asked while moving his first pawn. He had asked Doctor Van Helsing books that would interest Ag, he didn’t like watching her mostly sleep or daydream. “I have been reading the Sworn Book of Honorius, Ars Notoria too. You know books on the supernatural, there’s even the bible in the stacks of books they gave me” she scoffed.  
“That’s good, I hope they’re pleasant to read” he said as he analysed the chess board as she moved her knight. “Well, at least they distract me” she groaned as he got to her knight with his pawn. she tried to be more focused on the game but she was pondering on the fact that indeed this "habit" did bring her more peace and tranquillity.

He decided to stay silent and let her speak when she felt it, a couple of minutes had gone by.

“And, what have you been doing?” she looked up from the game, her eyes intent on his own. He challenged her stare, pondering if he should tell her or not. Oh well, if she got mad it’s not like she could flee anywhere. “I have been browsing the internet for manors, castles ...” he smiled a tight lipped one. her rook getting another pawn out his game “browsed? You mean like shopping on the internet?” she asked, after all, her knowledge on the contemporary world was limited. “Yes on “prestige-housing.uk” if you want to know” he smirked. “interesting” she muttered. Well that had gone better than what he expected. “So, how are you going to buy it anyway?” her brows furrowed. “with the help of my lawyer, of course”. She had stopped her game, resting her head on her open palm. “why buy now, when we don’t even know when we are leaving this place?”. She showed the foundation with her hand, looking at the mercenaries around them. Statues, these men.

“Well, I’m always preventive! We never know, and what if you get out of here before me? I can’t have you be a homeless woman, wandering the streets" he laughed moving his Rook towards her queen. Expecting her to be more concentrated on the game since he was close to winning, he was surprised by her question.  
"Why me?" She demanded, mid move his hand wavered in the air, his eyes moving, looking straight into hers.

"Why you, Agatha?" He put his pawn on the table and laid back on the chair, he exuded so much power and intimidation but she did too. Her eyes now alight. "We're equals" he stated. At that she laughed, her hand on her belly, her chair even toggling a little.

"Equals?" She asked incredulously. But she saw he was serious.  
"Equals, yes. We both respect each other, I didn't and still don't care about what people think of me. But with you, it's different, your point of view, what you think, effects me." he explained as she was frowning, waiting to be further convinced. "You're fascinated with me" she smiled at his audacity.

"As I am with you". Oh, now that was different. "I'm fascinated because you're not scarred of me and you challenge me, provoke me." He states almost like a poem. He waits a few seconds as if he was about to start anew. " You have faith in God and by that, you acknowledge that evil is real. You don't deny it you embrace it. You're not one of these hypocrites who denies its existence." He was making good points, damn it. "I am a well of knowledge and history to your everlasting thirst for education. I admire your yearning to know always more.” What he was saying was unsettling because she couldn’t deny it and that, that made her mad. She couldn't even leave the place, damn it.  
“I trust you and somehow I don’t really question your actions and thoughts, that is a premier I my “life”. He air quoted with his fingers. “If you hadn’t realised.” Did he think she would feel honoured? Fool. 

“In short we’re perfect for one another, suitable mates!” he concluded, clapping his hands together, almost proudly.  
“Everything you have just said, dracula, are advantages to you. What about me? Do I have a saying in all of this? Might I add that I’m a nun, well was. Maybe I don’t want to have a “suitable mate”. she imitated him, also, air quoting.  
“Like you so dearly say. Hadn't that crossed your mind?". “ai dreptate, nu mă gândisem la asta.” (you're right, I hadn't really thought of it.) he stated. “You haven’t thought about it!? You’re a foolish man, I can’t believe my ears”. She sat up. “Agatha please” he stood up too and grabbed her arm. She looked at his hands and drew her gaze up to him. He started, unsure “Tell me then... Why I couldn’t. Or could be your partner.” He pleaded.

As he was waiting for her next move, he contemplated her. Her beautiful face, so expressive. Her long wavy, rich brown hair cascading down. Her blues eyes contrasting with her dark eyelashes. her eyebrows frowning. Her sharp jaw. Everything about her was heavenly. Unworldly. 

"I...i. well first of all, you are a monster, all of these people you killed. My friends all of them killed. By you!" She started her accent so noticeable. He chuckled "Not all of it was my doing, I had the help of a few wolves." He smirked.  
"You see!" She shouted, her arms flailing about. "That's why! Right there, that's why I couldn't be your partner. You're insensible. Do you even realize people have emotions?" She tried to explain. Why was he like that? He wasn't a Neanderthal. "How can you be like that when you were a prince? Aren't they supposed to be well educated? Didn't you have a family? Children?" Agatha asked incredulously. He waited, thinking she had more to say. "You're right I am an insensible monster" he was mad.

“But not when it comes to you my dear, Agatha. I try to be careful” he thought. He turned her back and started cleaning up the game, putting all the pawns back into the chess box.

"I'll be honest with you Agatha, you made me realize that maybe I'm not the best man on earth and I do have my faults. Thank you to you for pointing them out. Now let's hope, I fix them." He was being sarcastic now! "Hey! We weren't done with that game!" Agatha pointed to his hand holding the closed chess box.

"No, I think we are done with that game, as well as with this conversation." His ego had already been wounded enough. He couldn't let her win the game too.  
She stomped her foot on the floor. "Give me that game, we're continuing it, while, you'll explain to me why you've become as you are today." Did she think she was his mother? Never he would have let anybody talk to him that way. She should feel so lucky right now they were surrounded by mercenaries and mostly by a sun beam machine. 

"I will not do that. It's done. terminat " he backed up a little.  
"Dracula you are being childish now" she was walking towards him. " I was going to win!" She reached behind him, trying to fetch the box. As he pounced around her. From the outside they really looked like children fighting over a toy.

Agatha walking over to him and him backing up was a scene. Until he was stopped by, obviously the glass. “Ah. AH! You’re stuck now!” she said proudly. Dracula thought that really their roles were inversed here. Victim and assailant much? For a couple seconds she just looked at him, dead in the eye.

The tension palpable, they were almost chest to chest, mere millimetres between them. Both so still. She then flipped her long hair back, almost as if showing of her neck. He immediately thought back to the “Come boy, suckle” moment, they shared a century ago. He sure wanted to retry that.

Her left hand drawing up, gliding up his torso, barely touching his cotton top. she grabbed his shoulder. Her face inching up closer to his. He could physically feel himself not catching a breath, anticipating her move. Her mouth so close to his as she closed her eyes, he understood that as his next cue to imitate her. And closed his eyes he did too. Almost. she backed away from him as quickly as they had met that night at the convent. She reached for the game behind his back. And lift it up high in the air. “Damn it! You mischievous little rascal.” He cursed, his fingers pinching his nose.

That she had to admit to herself, they did have that playfulness. An easiness between them that was just their's. If she thought about it enough she knew she had never had that with anyone. Not with her former childhood friend, nor with her crush in her old town. Nor with her late friends. It was new. Untouched, unscathed territory. she couldn’t explain it.

“Come on, Count Dracula, let’s continue our game” she smiled as she sat down on the floor her back to the sofa. Disposing the game. As he walked to her, he couldn’t be mad with her. He achieved what he wanted; seeing her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so much time to update this chapter! I was so overwhelmed with work these last months! At last! I have time for myself and my family.  
> And obviously to write now ☺️


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